Grammar Lesson

Guys, I know this is neither the time, nor the place (as the time should be maybe 1994--that's what it was for me-- and the place is your eighth grade English class), but people's grammar of late is just SO abominable that I must take the time to educate you all about what I like to call the "I feel badly" syndrome. Here's the deal: anytime you're using a verb that also functions as one of the five senses, i.e., taste, smell, sound, feel, look, you must use an adjective along with it, NOT an adverb. For example.

WRONG: I feel badly that she can't come along with us.
Right: I feel bad that she can't come along with us.

Reason: If you feel badly, that indicates that you can't feel properly. Meaning, you have sensory problems in your hands like perhaps a quadriplegic. Unless that is of course the case, you always feel BAD about something when you want to convey you have feelings of sympathy or remorse.

WRONG: He smells badly.
Right: He smells bad.

Reason: Again, if he smells badly, that means he either a) lost his nose in the war, b) is extremely stuffed up or c) has a crushed septum that does not allow him to identify smells. To say he smells bad = he is malodorous.

Please, please, please make an effort to remember this if it is the only grammar rule to which you adhere. It is so much more offensive than a simple phrase ended with a preposition.

I promise my next post will be a product review.