Let's not act like we ALL didn't compulsively read it.
Yes, the writing's embarrassingly bad. Also, I've been meaning to write this post for about three months, but then, you know, LIFE happened. I'm semi-embarr to admit I finished the entire Fifty Shades Of Grey series in four days. It'll make you blush harder than the models on Michael Kors' FW 2012 runway did.
Yes, Ana Steele gives no indication that she's remotely intelligent other than Christian simply thinking she is. She drinks tea and has moderate knowledge of English Lit. References to her "inner goddess"made me acutely uncomfortable. Ana boasts an inner monologue that sounds as if it's ripped directly from the '60s television series "Batman."
You and I both read it.
For a complete passage-by-passage teardown of the hellacious writing, visit 50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com. But in between language that's allegedly spoken by Seattle natives that's fraught with Britishisms, the fact remains that the story IS spicy enough to keep you turning pages till 4am. So in keeping with blush's major comeback of Dynasty proportions this fall, here are 50 of my favorite blushes, designed to mimic the hue your cheeks will become upon reading the tome.
"Holy cow!" thinks Anastasia!
Here they are:
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